Daily Dose of Randomness
by Black Lilack
Summary: A fic about Kyo from Fruits basket (I honestly don't know how he got here) Me and my friends as immortal beings and some OC's. As the title says its just random ideas that my friends and I come up with and decided to write down on here.
1. Kyo gets a job

**Hello and welcome to the first episode of *drumroll* Daily Dose of Randomness! I am your host Black Lilack and I do hope you enjoy**

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><p>Kyo stormed into the house that he was staying in and threw his backpack at a girl in the kitchen. It hit her right in the back of her head. She whirled around, her long dark brown hair whipping behind her. "Kyo you little bastard, what was that for!? Can't you see I'm busy!?"She gestured to the half built bomb on the kitchen table.<p>

"You're the one who forced me to go to school today! And let me tell you there are some things you cannot un see" Kyo shuddered remembering his home room teacher.

The girl smiled evilly "well you better suck it up cus you're going back tomorrow"

Kyo almost broke down when she said that "Rebecca, don't do this to me" he pleaded with her.

Rebecca ignored him, as far as she was concerned Kyo no longer existed. Kyo growled and started slamming his head repeatedly against the wall. A girl with spiky black hair and tanned skin stormed down the stairs, grabbed Kyo by the back of his shirt and tossed him outside. "You can come back in one you grovel at my feet and promise not to ruin my house" she pointed to the cracked wall where he was slamming his head.

Kyo would rather starve than grovel at her feet so he began thinking of a plan to get back into his room on the third floor of her house. "Ravens so mean" he muttered, referring to the girl who kicked him outside.

She was also the one who owned the house and tolerated all the people who somehow wound up living there. Actually now that he thought of it, Kyo had no idea how he wound up staying there too. Kyo sighed and lay down on the front lawn, and then it started to snow. "What!?"Kyo shouted at the world "why does everyone and everything hate me!?"

Rebecca stuck her head out the window "because you were picked as the looser character of this story, and honestly you fit the roll perfectly, good night, sweet dreams" then she closed the window and locked it, along with all the other windows and the doors, leaving Kyo to turn into an icicle and die of hypothermia and frost bite.

The night went by and Kyo didn't die. Raven sat on the couch watching some show about the world's greatest crimes or something. Her friend Eriqka sat down next to her and changed the channel to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Raven snatched the remote out of her hand and turned it back to the channel she wanted. Eriqka, since she's a ghost, floated into the remote so she was controlling it from the inside. Raven growled some not very nice words and walked out into the kitchen to eat. When she opened the freezer she saw a blue Kyo huddled in it shivering and muttering "the c-c-c-old nev-ver bothered m-me anyway"

Raven face palmed "Kyo, why in the hell are you in the freezer?" she asked.

Kyo grinned up at her with blue lips "I'm training for next time you throw me outside in the snow"

Rebecca walked over and dragged him out of the freezer and handed him a paper. "Kyo you are now a movie director"

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><p>Once at work Kyo instantly liked it. "Get me a corn dog Mary!" he shouted at his assistant, putting on a hat that says #1 Director over his short ginger hair.<p>

Mary nodded "right away sir" and went to get what Kyo had asked for.

A boy with his hair dyed black at the roots and faded out to white at the tips, and a similarly monochrome outfit walked in. "uh, where am I?" he asked.

"Calen, you're in wonderland" Kyo said doing jazz hands.

Calen ignored Kyo and looked around the set. "it looks like were in a room with a heart-shaped bed" he stated.

Kyo turned to Mary who had come back with a corn dog and shouted at her, "GOD DAMMIT MARY I TOLD YOU TO MAKE THE SET TO LOOK LIKE WONDERLAND"

Mary took a few steps back and stuttered "s-sir, you told me to change t-the set to a romantic one so you could d-do things"

Kyos eyes widened "wwwwwhhhhhaaaaatttt, no I said, uh…..got to go" he started running out of the room, but before he could Mary stopped him.

"s-sir, the exit is that way" She pointed to a door on the opposite side of the room.

Kyo turned around and ran the other way "I knew that!" he got to the door and tried to open it, it wouldn't budge. "NOO it's locked! Calens gonna kill me!"

Mary calmly tapped him in the shoulder to get his attention, "sir, it's a push, not pull"

Kyo pushed the door "I knew that too" he ran out and turned left.

Mary called after him "THE PARKING LOT IS TO THE RIGHT"

kyo turned right and speed walked to the parking lot, then he stopped "wait a minute…..i don't have a car

Mary sighed, rubbing her temples trying to ease her headache. "I quit"

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><p><strong>~Behind the Scenes~<strong>

**Calen: seriously! Now Black Lilack will be spying on us for ideas!**

**Rebecca: So?**

**Calen: me and Kyo need some Pizza and some privacy!**

**Rebecca: what is Kyo doing upstairs? he is being loud**

**Kyo: GIVE IT TO ME PIZZA**

**Rebecca: uh, I think Kyo is having a little fun without you**

**Calen: im going to see what he's doing**

**-upstairs-**

**Kyo: *is sweating* GIVE IT TO ME PIZZA! I KNOW YOU HID THE KEY AND TURNED THE HEATER ON! IM DYING ITS SO HOT! UNLOCK THE DOOR!**

**the pizza is just sitting on the bed doing nothing**


	2. Calen x Pizza

Raven looked around the house for Calen, she wanted to get on him for stealing her shampoo. "Hey, does anyone know where Calen is?" she asked. Kyo, who was at the table drawing picture of a cat eating a rat, turned to look at her, "he died in a car crash five years ago" he said.

Raven raised an eyebrow "but I just saw him, like an hour ago"

Kyo's expression saddened "Raven, since his death you began hallucinating, the Calen you know isn't even real"

Raven honestly didn't know how to respond to that. Kyo stood and threw himself at her "RAVEN, JUST MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE, ACCEPT THAT HE'S DEAD ALREADY!"

Just then Rebecca walked in from terrorizing the neighbor's dog, "actually" she said, "I had Calen go buy lunch since none of us know how to cook"

A tall man with long dark purple hair and red eyes named Blake walked up "Hey, I know how to cook!" he shouted.

Rebecca looked at him, then corrected her sentence "since none of know how to cook edible food"

Raven butted in "who needs edible? I've eaten a brick before" Kyo smiled, remembering the time when they forced her to eat 15 bricks.

Rebecca face palmed "Raven, none of us can turn into a rock eating T-Rex like you"

Just then Calen walked in, making his entrance dramatic by slamming open the door and somehow making sparkles appear around him. "IM BAAAAAACCCCKKKK!" he called, flipping his hair back, "I bought us Pizza Hut, Dominos, Little Caesars and some pizza from some nameless shop run by aliens"

Raven's eyes widened "you saw aliens!"

Calen nodded "yea, but I meant like people out of the country, not some green-skinned weirdos"

"Speaking of out of country" Raven started "I'm wanted in like every state so I was thinking of moving to somewhere like Germany"

Calen interrupted "um, guys are we gonna eat this pizza before it gets cold?"

Raven made a face "pizza gives me indigestion"

"HA, sucks for you!" Kyo shouted in her face. It was a bad choice because Raven grabbed Kyo and tossed him out the window.

"After lunch who wants to play Mario cart with me?" Blake asked.

"I already have plans" Raven lied.

"Me too" Calen said.

Rebecca made a face "I don't but there is no way I'm playing that game"

Kyo started slamming on the window shouting "ILL PLAY WITH YOU JUST LET ME IN, BABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE"

Raven sighed and opened the door letting him in. Once inside Kyo shook off the snow, stuck his nose in the air and said "the cold never bothered me anyway"

Raven frowned at him "well I'm gonna go do some….stuff" she said and went outside.

Just then someone knocked on the door. Blake looked up from his game to shout at Rebecca to get the door. "Jesus Blake, I'm not your slave, you go get it"

Blake groaned not wanting to stand up so he shouted "GAURDIAN, GET THE DOOR"

Guardian stormed down the stairs, her blue eyes staring down at Blake and her long pink hair swaying as she walked up to him and grabbed him by the ear "OH HELL NO" she shouted and tossed him toward the door.

Blake grumbled under his breath about them being jerks and opened the door to see two guys standing there, the older of the two had shaggy black hair and was wearing what looked like traditional Japanese robes. The other had long gray hair and purple eyes. Their names were Shigure and Yuki Sohma. "Who the hell are you?" Blake asked.

"We're Kyo's cousins" Shigure said.

Hearing his voice Kyo jumped up and ran to them "OH IM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU! Please you gotta get me out of here, these people are insane!"

Yuki smirked at him "it's nice to know you finally fit in somewhere" he said coldly.

"We just came here to give you the stuff you left at my house" Shigure said handing Kyo his stuff and leaving.

"Well it looks like you're stuck with us" Blake commented.

Kyo fell to his knees and shouted to the sky "NOOOOOOO"

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><p>~meanwhile where Calen is~<p>

Calen walked into a room and set a piece of pizza on the bed. "oh it's that time baby" he said and started undressing.

Then Rebecca walked into the room "the hell, get out of my room, and why is there pizza on my bed?"

"Uhhhhh, a new air freshener?" he tried.

Rebecca glared at him "you are so lucky I'm in a good mood, and next time DO IT IN YOUR ROOM!"

"Well thanks for ruining the moment" Calen grumbled grabbing the pizza and leaving the room.

Then Rebecca said "Raven, I want to move out!"

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><p><strong>~Behind the Scenes~<strong>

**Calen: that was-**

**Rebecca: AMAZING!**

**Calen: No, weird-**

**Rebecca: WEIRDLY AMAZING!**

**Calen: NO WEIRD AS IN NOT BAD BUT NOT GOOD**

**Rebecca: what do you know about writing, all you've ever done is write letters to your girl friend also known as Pizza**

**Calen: HEY LEAVE MY BABE OUT OF THIS**

**Blake: Okay guys jeez, you guys give me a headache every time you yell and fight**

**Rebecca/Calen: WE ARENT FIGHTING!**


	3. Christmas Decorating With DDR

Kyo ran out into the living room "I'm so excited for Christmas!"

"Me too, even though I'm a ghost" Eriqka said floating a few feet above him.

Calens eyes widened "OH NO, ITS THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE!"

Eriqka was confused. Then Raven started running around and yelling "RUN, SHES GONNA GET US"

"But, what about decorating the house?" Eriqka asked.

Raven stopped the drama and thought about what her ghostly friend just said 'oh, yeaaa, I'll go get the decorations"

Raven went into the garage and after much rummaging around she came out with a big cardboard box. Kyo ran over and opened it up, at the top was a porcelain angel. He picked it up and inspected it, then said "this thing is so ugly, is it from the18th century or something?"

Raven kicked him in between the legs "if you're gonna be an ass about it then you can sit out in the snow…naked"

Kyo gulped "heh heh, I'm just gonna shut my mouth now"

After Kyo had walked out into the kitchen and everyone else was busy either dusting or putting ornaments on their tree (which they had named Sir Crispy Mc. Fishnugget the Third) Calen went and picked up the angel. "This angel looks st-" Calen didn't get to finish because he had dropped the angel and it was now a bunch of tiny pieces on the floor.

"Oops" he said and started walking away but then Raven grabbed his hair.

Raven smiled sweetly but Calen was not fooled, whenever she used that smile it meant someone was about to die. "Calen, mind explaining why that hundred year old artifact is broken on my floor?"

"KYO DID IT" Calen shouted, hoping she would believe him. Just then Kyo walked out of the kitchen eating fruit cake.

Raven dragged Calen over to the door and tossed him outside in his underwear. He started running around screaming "HELP, THE SNOW IS GONNA KILL ME"

Kyo smirked "he deserved that" and took another bite of the fruit cake.

Eriqka looked at the fruit cake he was eating and asked "isn't that cake plastic?"

Kyo looked down at it "so that's why it tastes like glue"

"I made the fruit cake and someone replaced the milk with glue so…" Raven smiled innocently.

Calen started banging the window "HELP, THERE ARE WOLVES OUT HERE!"

Eriqka smiled "their names are Fluffy and Gumdrop"

"THEYRE TRYING TO EAT ME"

"Yea.." Eriqka said "they don't like idiots"

Calen started sobbing and banging against the window as hard as he could "PLEASE LET ME IN"


	4. Roses are Red

**This chapter was written by my friend Rebecca, she also has an account on she is Guardian and Blake, go check her out!**

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><p>Raven was hiding under Kyo's bed giggling quietly to herself. Kyo walked in and sat down on his bed. Raven said in a creepy voice "Violets are blue, roses are red, I came in through your window, IM UNDER YOUR BED"<p>

Raven jumped out from under the bed right in front of Kyo. Kyo screamed like a little girl and used his teddy bear as a shield. Raven ran out of his room laughing like a maniac.

~The next day~

It was a beautiful day at the beach so everyone decided to go. Blake was sitting on the sand looking out at the waves, "the water is really blue today" he said smiling.

"Yup" Kyo agreed.

Raven walked up and stood in front of them "Blood is red, the water is blue, lets drown someone, but who?"

Kyo looked up at her, confused. Raven grinned "HOW ABOUT YOU!?" she grabbed Kyo and shoved his head under the water, refusing to let him come up for air.

Blake frowned "what's up with Raven, these days she only talks in something is red or blue, something is blue or red, etc."

"She's going through a phase" Guardian said "I think…"

Kyo finally passed out from lack of air. "The water is blue, strawberries are red, kyo passed out, or might be dead…"

Guardian smiled "you got to admit, that's clever" Blake nodded.

They all left the beach at about 8 at night and by 10 they were all hanging out in the kitchen.

Blake was sitting at the table when he said "Blake's eyes are blue, Guardians are red, come on I'm tired, let's go to bed"

Guardian flicked him "It's only cool when Raven comes up with it"

Blake grumbled under his breath and went up to his room.

"The sky is blue, fire is red, let's grab Kyo, and throw him in a shed" Raven looked over at Kyo who had fallen asleep in the middle of eating cake.

Guardian thought about it "or we could glue him to the wall…on the outside of the house….naked, by the way is snowing"

Raven nodded. "Ok let's get some glue" Guardian said looking in the cabinet where the glue was, "what!? I was sure I put the glue right here!

Raven left for a little but and came back with glue in one hand and pulling Calen by the hair in the other, "His blood is red, blueberries are blue, I found out who stole the bottle of glue"

"Calen stole it?" Guardian asked.

Raven nodded "the sky is blue, hell is red, that's where Calens gonna go once I beat his sorry little head"

Calen started to struggle "IM SORRY PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"

Guardian frowned "why did you need the glue?"

"To fix one of Raven's sw- TO FIX A PAINTING"

Raven grabbed Calens neck and gave him the finger "roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you"

Just then a boy by the name of Asher with black hair and pale skin walked up to them "oh knock it off Raven, we all know, roses are red, violets are blue. That's what they say, but it just isn't true! Roses are red, and apples are too, but violets are violet, violets aren't blue! An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green and pinkies aren't pink, what does it mean? To say something's blue, when it isn't, defiles it. But oh, what the hell, its hard to rhyme violet…"

Raven stared at Asher for a long while "huh?"

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><p><strong>Kyo: AND FINALLY THE RHYMING STOPPED AND WE ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER<strong>

**Raven: to say it stopped isn't quite true, and if you make false assumptions I may just hit you**

**Kyo: oh no *runs***


	5. Chat

_you have been added to _The Randomness Crew _group chat_

**The fish lover: ** dude, the author hasnt updated in forever, im soooo bored

**Cat Hater 111:** well she told me that shes going to make a valentines special to make up for not updating

**Guardian Girl:** also rumors have been going around that the reason she hasnt been updating is because shes writing a super duper long chapter based off of the song Alice of Human Sacrifice

**The fish lover: **oooh, sounds dark

**Cat Hater 111: ** i hope kyo dies in it

**The fish lover: **who wants freid rat tonight? cus i sure do

**amazing author: **both of you stfu or i will never update again

**The fish lover: **im sorry miss author sir!

**Guardian Girl:** jeez you two fight like an old married couple

**Pizza: **NO, KYO-SAMA IS MINE

**Cat Hater 111:** woa calen, did you just call Kyo 'sama'?

**Pizza: **and what if i did? you got a problem with it?

**The fish lover:** THANK YOU CALEN FOR BEING THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME, now if youll excuse me, i have some rat traps to check

The fish lover _has left the chat_

**Blake:** hey guardian, the kitchens on fire

**Guardian Girl:** and i suppose you want me to clean up YOUR mess

**Blake: **yup

**Guardian Girl: **UGH

**Blake: **thanks sis

Guardian Girl_ has left the chat_

Blake _has left the chat_

**Pizza: **...

**Pizza: **...

**Pizza: **Blake and guardian are siblings?

**666raven:** you seriously didnt know that?

**Pizza: **...

Pizza _has left the chat_

**Cat Hater 111: **how the hell did calen not know that?

**666raven:** well i mean the auther never mentioned it in the story so you cant really blame him

**Cat Hater 111:** but still

**666raven: **hey yuki, i just realized something

**Cat Hater 111: **hm?

**666raven:** theres some person on this chat i dont know

**Cat Hater 111: **whats their user name?

**666raven: **uhm, it says 'the reader'

**Cat Hater 111:** just block them from the chat

**666raven: **okay

_you have been blocked from _The Randomness Crew _chat_


	6. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

**contains boy x boy, dont like dont read**

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><p>"HAAPPYYY VALENTINES DAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY"<p>

"RAVEN WOULD YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH"

"BUT ITS VALENTINES DAY"

"LOOK RAVEN I DONT CARE JUST BE QUIET"

"HEY DIDNT YOU SAY YOU WERE GONNA ASK-

Kyo covered Ravens mouth before she could finish her sentence.

"just shut the f up, i am gonna ask him but its gonna be a surprise, i dont need you ruining it"

"Sorry, im just gonna..." Raven slowley walked away leaving Kyo alone in the hallway.

Kyo looked at a door, the door that lead to Calens room. He took a deep breath and opened it up.

Calen was sitting at his desk drawing little cartoons. He looked up when Kyo walked in. "oh, hey Kyo"

Kyo was nervous, he didnt know where to look and the room all of a sudden seemed really hot, "hey, um, Calen,would you...ahem, like to, ah, go on a date with me?"

Calen smiled "sure, sounds like fun!"

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><p>"wait, Calen actually said yes?"<p>

"well it sure does look that way"

"i dont understand how anyone would want to go on a date with Kyo"

Rebecca shrugged "well it is valentines day, love is in the air"

Raven frowned "yea i guess"

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><p>"hey do you want to go ona date with me?"<p>

"actually, im on a date right now" Calen said pointing to Kyo who was waiting in line for movie tickets.

"awww, why do all the good looking ones have to be gay" the girl who approached Calen frowned, dissapointed.

"hey, i got the tickets, lets go!" Kyo called.

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><p>"well this was a really fun day" Calen said, leaving his head against Kyo's shoulder as they sat looking out at the setting sun.<p>

Kyo turned his head to look at Calen "yea" he agreed "today was pretty fun"

He rested his hand on the side of Calen's face and pulled him in for a kiss.

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><p><strong>Raven: i dont understand why valentines day is so special, i mean everyone knows love is a stupid human emotion<strong>

**Kyo: well your just a lonley sociopath, you wouldnt understand**

**Calen: shes probably never even heard of true love**

**Kyo: well theres a great example of true love right in front of her, its the love we share**

***they start kissing***

**Raven: ewww, get a room**

**Calen: fine, we will**

***they run to calens bedroom***

**Rebecca: hey raven, do you know what those weird sounds coming from calens room are?**

**Raven: you dont wanna know**


End file.
